Warehouse E

White House Hick

Page 2
Page 3

It Is Embarrassing To Be Represented By Mr. Bush In World Affairs

By James Donahue

When the President of the United States travels abroad, or foreign leaders come to the United States to visit the White House, it is always a big event. The eyes of the world are watching. And there is strict protocol involved in every move these people make.

Since President George W. Bush came to power, however, we have watched protocol get a bit twisted to the level of pure American hickville.

Not long after he took office, our president invited Russian President Vladimir Putin to the Bush ranch near Crawford, Texas. There Bush gave Mr. Putin a bumpy tour of the ranch in a white Ford pickup and then entertained this brilliant world power and known vegetarian with a dinner of smoked tenderloin steak and southern fried catfish. Later a Texas swing band, The Ranch Hands, performed a portion of the evening's entertainment.

Perhaps the only degree of dignity was offered by famed concert pianist Van Cliburn.

Mr. Bush's "cowboy" behavior when he emerged on a Manhattan rubble pile after the 9-11 attack somehow was well accepted by a frightened nation, and it worked to his benefit. For a while people forgot that the 2000 election appeared to have been rigged and that the Supreme Court gave the office to Bush in spite of serious questions about rigged votes in Florida. They also forgave Mr. Bush for his simple and undiplomatic behavior when entertaining foreign dignitaries. We needed leadership and that Texas cowboy was the best we had at the moment.

We have no doubt the blunders went on quite regularly, but for a long time, because we were thinking of ourselves as a nation at war, the media overlooked them.

But in July, 2006, during a formal banquet for world leaders attending the G-8 summit, a photographer captured Bush giving an unsolicited and surprise neck-massage to then newly elected German prime minister Angela Merkel. Needless to say, Merkel did not take kindly to being touched like that. The incident got world attention and Mr.Bush appeared once more as the blundering fool that he is.

Fortunately, Bush has been staying home a lot since that incident. But the G-8 summit just rolled up again, and our president was there. And he once more was captured by news reporters making an ass of himself. This time it happened at the Vatican.

Yup, that's right. Bush forgot (or never bothered to learn) protocol for behaving around the Pope. So when he and Pope Benedict XVI got together, Bush answered the Pope as "sir" instead of the expected "Your Holiness." That drew a few gasps from the accompanying bishops and guards.

Then, one story said, as he was strolling through the Vatican, Bush appeared to recognize someone that he knew. He was heard greeting this person with a casual "how ya doin?" The reporters also remarked on Bush's relaxed posture, and that he crossed his legs "Texas style" while facing the pope across his desk in the private study.

That is our president, folks. But just remember that he is a representative of the people who elected him. Consequently, we all must be beer-guzzling, football-watching hicks and living in the trailer park. Our mama never taught us how to behave when we stand before royalty and we are too ignorant to know better.

The kings of the earth still exist. They are among us. Many of them are well hidden. And when the day comes that they shed their rags and make themselves known, there will be no more of this kind of crap. Heads will literally roll for the kinds of shenanigans committed by our elected president.

In the meantime, Mr. Bush is our elected president, and we are duty bound to respect him as the leader of our nation, no matter how embarrassing his behavior might be at times. All we ask is that voters do a better job of selection the next time around.