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Religious Nuttiness About A Cheese Sandwich


By James Donahue

November 2000


The recent auctioning on eBay of a 10-year-old grilled cheese sandwich that supposedly bears the image of the Virgin Mary is only the latest of a long line of events expressing the religious fanaticism that appears to be sweeping not only the United States, but the world.


When that very old sandwich made the national news after bidding got into the thousands but eBay pulled the item out of the auction thinking it was a joke, I thought that would be the end of the silliness.


But lo, the sandwich went back into sale a day or two later and the last I heard, the winning bid came in at $28,000. I didn’t go back to find out who bought it. I didn’t care.


What troubles me is that people are so drawn to what they believe are “miraculous” images either of the Virgin Mary or Jesus faces that appear in rocks, on tree trunks, on windows, clouds and now a cheese sandwich.


They rush to see these things when they are reported and if possible, set up make-shift alters, complete with lighted candles, flowers and written prayers. They are virtually bowing down to images, which I believe was classified as a “no-no” in Old Testament writings. But who am I, a disgruntled old Gnostic, to be critical of “God’s” alleged miracles?


The picture I saw of that “miracle” cheese sandwich doesn’t give us a very clear image of anything. It vaguely looks like a human face, but no more than that massive boulder on Mars or the man on the Moon. Scientists are still claiming the Mars face is an illusion caused by shadows over the rocks.


Also, I have a problem with these miracle images of both Jesus and the Virgin Mary. Nobody ever captured a photograph of these people, or even painted their portraits when they lived, so we have no idea what they really looked like. All we have are popular impressions given to us by relatively contemporary artists.


When somebody sees a Jesus image on a tree trunk, or even dreams of meeting Jesus and receiving a message, they seem to picture him as looking exactly like that famous bearded, handsome, but slightly effeminate appearing man in portraits hanging in most Christian churches. I have no idea who painted that picture, but it seems to be accepted as the standard for what Jesus looked like when he walked the roads of Palestine over 2000 years ago.


I have a feeling that if we could really meet the real Jesus we wouldn’t accept him as a deity at all. That is because he wasn’t a deity. He was a human, just like us, but he possessed ancient knowledge and wisdom that set him apart from the others. He was not only a prophet, who saw future events, but he was a magickian.


Those kinds of people still appear among us today. None, since Jesus, have been declared children of God, however. That was an angelic scheme concocted by angelic, or alien forces who visited Paul many years after Jesus was dead and buried.


Paul’s “conversion” was an alien abduction. It occurred at a time when such miraculous visitations were rare and accepted as divine messages from above. Paul was a dynamic promoter and the perfect man for the job. His abduction and consequent brainwashing was brilliantly executed.


And thus was born one of the worst religious belief systems to ever sweep this planet. It has enslaved millions for years and seems to show no sign of disappearing.


That so many people would get excited over a “face” on a cheese sandwich is a sign of the total insanity that has impregnated the masses.


There is a collective awareness that something terrible is in our future. There is a frantic need to snatch onto any sign of divine help.


The thought that humans still could do a lot to help themselves doesn’t seem to be crossing their minds. That is because their thought processes have been carefully implanted with the idea that a “savior” named Jesus will come back in the nick of time and do it for them.


And that is a deadly angelic lie.


That lie alone is inspiring President Bush and his Christian followers down a path to mass human destruction known as Armageddon.


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