Unorthodox “Vampire” For Minnesota Governor?

By James Donahue

January 2006

When Hollywood film personality Ronald Reagan successfully grasped the U.S. Presidential office in 1980 and turned out to be a popular president, there occurred a shift in American thinking about choosing its leadership.

But did Reagan open a Pandora’s Box in American political circles? Consider that Minnesota voters have since elected wrestler Jessie Ventura as their governor, California put film star Arnold Schwarzenegger into the governor’s chair, and now a vampire is running for office this year in Minnesota.

(Did he say vampire?)

He goes by the title Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey, another former wrestler who, at 41, has thrown his hat in the state gubernatorial ring on the ticket of the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party.

Whether it’s a joke or not, Sharkey has actually filed as a candidate and his name will be going on the state ballot. And for all we know, if the man has the guts to stand up for vampires, witches and pagans when he seeks political office, he may be another Ventura in the making.

People might of laughed when Jessie “The Body” Ventura left the wrestling ring and grabbed the state governor’s seat, but he turned out to be a tough, outspoken, and straight-shooting political leader that made a few waves during the years he led that state. When we think of how poorly the educated lawyers, college professors and professional politicians have been running the affairs of the country these days, why couldn’t a vampire perform as well?

The way we see it, Sharkey probably won’t do any worse. And as a declared spokesman for the pagans, we Luciferians might even see eye-to-eye with him politically and even spiritually.

Sharkey certainly exhibits a keen sense of humor. “Politics is a cut-throat business,” he declared, so why wouldn’t a vampire do well in the heart of it? Vampires are certainly known for the way they go for the throat so the man should hold his own in that arena.

As a former wrestler, Sharkey went by the nickname “The Unholiest of Kings: Tarantula.” That handle, alone, is kind of spooky to say the least.

Another interesting thing about the man: He says: “I’m a Satanist who doesn’t hate Jesus. I just hate God the Father.” He sounds more like a Luciferian the closer we look. We perceive this Christian “God the Father” as an angel, posing as a deity, when it is nothing more than an alien that needs to get off this planet. But that is another story.

Sharkey is using his candidacy to take some interesting swipes at a few of the issues raised by the Christian political right in recent years . . . like that Ten Commandment thing.

He says that if elected, he will respect all religions and not only post the Ten Commandments in government buildings, but any other documents, including the Wicca Reed.

He also says he plans to execute convicted murderers and child molesters personally by impaling them on wooden poles in the front lawn of the state capitol. That ought to grab California’s death-row killer Schwarzenegger by the testicles. Who can top that for a killing performance?

It might be refreshing if Minnesota returned to the days of Vlad the Impaler. The media would certainly have something fresh to be writing about.