Gallery H
Funny Stuff
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Funny Headlines, Statements And Signs

By James Donahue

During my years as a news reporter, we word jockeys collected editorial mistakes (mostly from other papers) in headlines that often had double meanings, or were written by tired editors who obviously were not thinking. Thus they became extremely funny guffaws.

We always had long lists of those things hanging on the office bulletin board. Examples of actual headlines, which occur more frequently than you might believe, are as follows:

Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons

Statistics Show Teen Pregnancy Drops Significantly After 25

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Tiger Woods Plays With Own Balls Nike Says

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Deer Kill 17,000

Stud Tires Out

Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?

Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

An ad in one newspaper promoted: Golden, Ripe Boneless Bananas.

Most Lies About Blondes Are False.

Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors

Organ festival ends in smashing climax

Grandmother of eight makes hole in one

If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while

China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese,” a quote by the late French President Charles DeGaulle.

The world is more like it is now then it ever has before,” quote by late President Dwight Eisenhower.

It it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight,” quote by comedian George Gobel.

Permitted vehicles not allowed,” road sign on US-27.

Sign in front of Houston church: “Staying in bed shouting, Oh God! Does not constitute going to church.”